i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
