the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize
