Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
If I die, sorry about rent.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
Randomize
