It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
