i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
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