he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Randomize
