We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
