Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Randomize
