so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Randomize
