Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
