Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
