So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Randomize
