your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Randomize
