my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
