I think i sorta joined a cult last night
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
So many bounce houses so little time
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Randomize
