you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
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