I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Randomize
