the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
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