Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
