Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
