look no pants
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
Randomize
