the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
