jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Randomize
