if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
