He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
