Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Randomize
