I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
accomplished twins. life is a go
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
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