windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
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