If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Randomize
