Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
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