We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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