Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
