would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Randomize
