Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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