Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
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