white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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