Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
So squirting runs in the family.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Randomize
