Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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