love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Me too!
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Randomize
