dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
