i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
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