piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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