The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
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