That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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