So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
