did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
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