matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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