For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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