also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
A bitchslap is in order.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
