this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Randomize
