the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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